So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
