Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sex in a hospital.. check
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
