It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
