I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
