so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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