I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
