summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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