Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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