Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
