Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
