Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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