Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
