i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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