i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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