i just made my gag reflex go away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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