420 ftw
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
