i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
