i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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