We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
