Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
