does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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