can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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