I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
