His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
