no, he came in my armpit
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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