if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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