I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
