Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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