I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
