it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
