shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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