I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
