I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
another moral hangover. fuck.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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