Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
