Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
