He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
