oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
