You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
