I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
