Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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