i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
