He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
