i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
