No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
