Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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