The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
