I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
