she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
