dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
