He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
