did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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