All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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