WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
