I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
