imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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