I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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